Have you ever stopped to think about what event, purchase or accomplishment you are most proud of? Many would say an academic achievement, such as receiving a DDS or DMD, would be a highlight. Following graduation, getting into a residency or specialty program or landing that ideal job, or any job at all, all seem triumphant. As success follows, the purchase of a car, house or really cool boat may fill our thoughts. If you have children, the pride associated with the smallest events — crawling, walking, talking, potty training — soon overwhelms conversations. As advancements in our dental skills increase, reaching for proficiency and accolades occurs. Are any of these measures more important than others? I would think not, because each of us climbs the ladder at various times in our maturity and growth, and each advancement is equally notable. 

At any given moment, pride takes the form of what is paramount in our lives. Ego is defined as a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance. Confidence and competency may necessarily elevate one’s feeling of self-worth and accomplishment. Creating an esthetic smile, forming function and improving a patient’s quality of life become gratifying. We often see our colleagues presenting wonderful veneers; crowns; implant reconstructions; and periodontal, endodontic or restorative successes on social media. I see these notifications as positive influences on our profession and to the public, who may be unaware of our talents and abilities. So, ego is not necessarily a negative trait, but one that is inherent in successful individuals who tend to want to make a better world with those around us. 

Narcissism, however, is defined as the self-centeredness shown in a person with an excessive interest in or admiration of themself. The world revolves around them. Narcissists are also often very successful, but they tend not to elevate those around them. This is not a good attribute. During challenging financial times, it is easy to criticize our colleagues in the hope of short-term monetary gains. Rather than respecting the challenges of the daily general dentistry grind, some will throw another “under the bus.” 

I never really understood those characteristics, and I think it is more useful to create a more constructive experience and result. A bad result is not necessarily malpractice in the legal sense. As we develop clinical skills, the knowledge obtained through constant education is important. Taking practical experiences and incorporating techniques and procedures that benefit patients is what the “practice” of dentistry is all about. I once saw a saying: “Dream big. Work hard. Stay focused, and surround yourself with good people.” This really seems to be a huge key to success, pride, reward and satisfaction. There is no easy means to achieve professional success at any level. Focusing on what interests you most and what you become good at requires a dream and a hard grind. No success story is complete without a support staff that respects the efforts. This includes family, friends and the team. Good people are often hard to come by, so embracing those who are makes for a fruitful experience. 

However, this path goes both ways. We must also constantly and consistently treat those around us with empathy and reverence. Having too high an opinion of ourselves is never helpful, because none of us get to where we are without others. I have often stated that I have been blessed with wonderful mentors throughout my career. I continue to surround myself with those who help to elevate. In return, each of us need to uplift the team and colleagues. This is easily accomplished by taking advantage of available knowledge and experiences from many fronts, including all types of organizations, sharing mentors and the surrounding team players, and passing on as much positive energy as possible throughout the personal and professional community. 

It is best to have an ego that leads to leadership roles. Great leaders and teachers set out to make a difference. I often tell my patients who undergo a complicated treatment process that the end result is what really matters. All the trials and tribulations are forgotten when an outstanding final product is achieved. True leaders don’t seek applause and rewards, but rather focus on doing great works never imagined and creating an impact. The goal of each of us should be to elevate. You begin by focusing on things that make you happy, satisfied and motivated, then compel that enthusiasm to those around you. The most fulfilling life does not seek validation. It is automatic.